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by Monica Laytham

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credits

released April 7, 2016

all recordings - copyright Monica Laytham 2016
vox, piano, banjo, guitar, ukelele - Monica Laytham

engineering, mixing, and mastering - Laura Wallace

album photo - James Kang

album art - Jason Brown, Geocommunetrics Institute

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about

Monica Laytham Evanston, Illinois

Monica Laytham is a Chicago-based musician. She has spent all of 2016 on a grassroots musical tour of the country. This tour has taken her to stay with spiritual communities all over the U.S. She performs concerts of her original music in living rooms and church buildings, and gathers stories and songs from host communities. Monica has a background in classical music. ... more

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Track Name: Heavy-Headed Girl
(spoken) ...circling back to the beginning...

Oh, I'm a heavy-headed girl,
heavy-headed girl.
I walk around, weighed down,
with a worry and a frown,
trying to ease my troubled mind,
trying to ease my troubled mind.

Well, I went to church,
and I sang the songs,
I sang "Alleluia,"
and I said the words,
said "Make me whole,
I got a bag full of burdens
and the devil on my back,
I'm a heavy-headed girl."

Chorus

I took to the drink -
drink took me in,
and I swallowed down
some rest for the night.
Still lookin' for
a message in that bottle.
Got my mind on my honey
won't take me for a wife,
I'm a heavy-headed girl.

Chorus

Well I'm walkin' down the line,
trying to walk away.
Every place I go I've already been -
high on a hill,
down in that valley.
Walkin' on stones and bones and thrones,
I moan and drone on.
Droppin' gold through the holes
in the pockets of my clothes,
I'm a heavy-headed girl.

Chorus
Track Name: I'm Worn Out
O I'm worn out
from waiting on a revolution
Worn out
from standing in straight lines
Worn out
from everyone's evangelizing
Worn out from their talking about
what's wrong and what's right
Track Name: Sound of Your Shoes
I know you by the sound of your shoes
Track Name: Love Is Where You Are
We dreamed a river deep,
my darling,
holding slow to all that's free.
Caught up waiting for the end,
my darling,
we never bothered to begin.

Oh, oh, oh -
And I feel fine so far.
It's all been kind to me so far.
Love is where you are.

We threw stones with blinded aim,
my darling.
Truth and answers ain't the same.
Our sighs are deeper than our words,
my darling.
Our love is last and lost and learned.

Oh, oh, oh -
And I feel fine so far.
It's all been kind to me so far.
Love is where you are.

It's gone rain...

And I feel fine so far.
It's all been kind to me so far.
Love is where you are.
Love is where you are.
Track Name: You Saw Me Through
I'll burn the candle 'til the sun comes back
I'll wait 'til the morning
I'll burn the candle 'til the sun comes back
I'll wait for you

And you saw through me
And you saw me through

Write me a letter using famous peoples' lines
Be humble enough to say
Somebody else said it better fly better finger better milk
Betters can't be choosers
Bet I wish you'd chosen me before you met her

Oh, you saw through me
Oh, and you saw me through

I'll burn the candle 'til the sun comes back
I'll wait for the morning
I'll burn the candle 'til the sun comes back
I'll wait for you
Track Name: Teach Us to Die
Teach us to die
each day to our sin.
Empty us, Lord -
send your Spirit in.
Fill us with courage,
fill us with peace.
We look to you, Jesus,
our help is in thee.
Track Name: In the Early Morning Rain
In the early morning rain
I'll call upon your name
In the early morning rain
I'll call upon your name
O my light
O my love

Through the passing of the day
I'll call upon your name
Through the passing of the day
I'll call upon your name
O my light
O my love

O my love...

In the cool of evening's shade
I'll call upon your name
In the cool of evening's shade
I'll call upon your name
O my light
O my love

O my love...

In the early morning rain
Through the passing of the day
In the cool of evening's shade
I'll call upon your name
O my light
O my love

O my love...
Track Name: Long Point
Ice in its bark and holes in its height,
wearing the snow, even dusk is bright -
and if we out-walk the cracks we hear,
when it falls to the earth and nobody appears
does it make a sound anyway?
Does it make a sound at all?

Doubts fed by pleasures take hold of my mind.
Moments are miracles mapped in the time.
But if my feet drag, if I limp, if I crawl,
If I wander off course from the hour of call
will I hear the call anyway?
Will I hear the call at all?

Grace keeps the injured from falling behind -
the hands which extend it hold onto the time.
Snow makes each footstep look just like the last.
Quiet and loneliness move me to ask
won't you walk this world with me?
Won't you walk this world with me?
Track Name: Sit With Me
Sit with me
and empty your mind
Give yourself to the darkness
Be her child
Don't be afraid
This is the last
moment before
the first time
I tell you
that I love you

Twice I've seen you now
We've spoken of many things
I've walked the ground of your home
And my first thought
when I saw you sitting there was
Oh, that boy is striking
And I stared too long
And I forgot to sing
Oh, you unraveled me
the first time
that I saw you

I will wait
in the silence
While you breathe
I won't be afraid
if you don't answer right away
Won't be afraid at all
'cause I know time
can't contain us anymore
Our first smile
had to be
a hundred years long

Oh, you unraveled me
the very first time
I saw you
And I'm ready now
to tell you
that I love you
Track Name: Better Way to Breathe
Your song is an ember
waiting to be believed.
Small breaths, and you tell her,
tell her she can see -
see a red leaf in a silent chrome.
Oh, you need to let her rest before you speak.

His eyes are a mirror,
a song that captures me,
fills my soul with dust and dirt,
with what I'm made to be -
be a breath, deep in the turned-up soil of moments.
Oh, I need to be awake so I can dream.

I lay, and my lover
holds my resting feet.
Unseen in the ash-bough's curve,
we wander the day that sees us free.
Free from dead seeds and the dried-up concrete streets,
oh, I've learned that there's a better way to breathe.

Free from dead seeds and the dried-up concrete streets,
oh, I've learned that there's a better way to breathe.
Track Name: Let Your Light Shine On
The waves don't stop in the winter,
the birds still sing in the night,
the stars still shine when the clouds hang high,
and your light will never die.

Let your light shine on
Keep your head held high
Let your light shine on,
shine through your soul's dark night.

Love doesn't end with a heartbreak,
your shame is not who you are.
That river of love, it will carry you,
the lifeblood of the whole world's heart.

Chorus

Shine on...
Track Name: Scrap of a Song
It's been such a long life
I can feel the years in my face
I can't tell my story
Memory failed to keep words in their place
Now I'm just a scrap of a song
Oh, oh oh
Oh, oh oh

It's been such a cruel night
I'm the only creature still breathing
On the edge of my solace,
another road appears behind a hill -
how long is this death march?
There are angels covering me
to soothe my soul,
soothe my soul.

It's been such a sweet sight
The world opens to me in the shape of your face,
and I'm waiting
I still sit in the mystery of things I can't say
And words are my failing

I've got to find home
Been out here far too long
There's an aching in my bones
I'm trying to be alone

I've got to find home
Been out here far too long
There's an aching in my bones
I'm trying to be alone

Oh, I've got to find home
Been out here too damn long
There's a breaking in my soul
I'm tired of being alone

Joy will come, joy will come